Niagara On The Lake Woman “Breaking the stigma” Around Miscarriage & Trauma- US Magazine Tells Her Heartbreaking, Inspiring Story
“Miscarriage is treated as culturally taboo. No one really talks about it and the lack of public recognition isolates women and their partners into thinking and feeling like they should be coping and handling the way they process their grief differently. I want to break that stigma.” — Kaye Parker
We’ve all had a difficult few years — but most people would agree that Kaye Parker, has survived much more than most. The mother of three and increasingly well known influencer in the mental health space is the host of “Trials and Tribulations,” where she shares her struggles and interviews others.
This week, the Niagara on the Lake woman shared her story on a much bigger platform. Featured stateside in a deeply disturbing and yet affirming Authority magazine article (soon to be also published in Thrive Global, founded by Huffington Posts’ Arianna Huffington) called “Kaye Parker Of Trials & Tribulations: 5 Things You Need To Heal After a Dramatic Loss Or Life Change.”
She describes some of the things she has had to deal with over the last three years this way. “…I got mugged and assaulted, I was in a global pandemic where I was being isolated further, I got strangled and assaulted, I got into a car accident (lost my car), I caught COVID, I had 2 biopsies done for potential breast cancer and I got served divorce papers to name a few…”
She says all of that pales compared to the trauma of losing her son. “I have had many traumatic experiences in the past but the experience of losing my son was the moment where my life dramatically changed. “
The word “miscarriage” doesn’t properly paint the picture of the horror and deep trauma that Kaye — and others who live through this — endure.
“Boxing Day came, he looked perfect but there was no heartbeat. I had such a rollercoaster of emotions of finding out my future of having my son was taken from me but maybe there was hope that they were wrong to come back down to losing him all over again. I was given an option to get what they call a ‘surgical abortion’ and to me the sound of that made me perceive that losing my son was a choice. I didn’t want an abortion. I wanted my son, so I chose to wait until my body naturally let him go. I didn’t realize how much of an emotional toll that would have on me mentally. Everyday I saw him, felt him, I looked visibly pregnant and would have strangers congratulate me all while knowing he was gone…On the night of January 6, 2019 my water broke the minute I returned home from the hospital, and I gave birth to our son Jack Donald (JD) in our bathtub. I had always wanted a water-home birth but not like this. Holding his lifeless body in my hands. He was perfect. He was mine and I soon realized that nothing could prepare you for that moment of needing to say goodbye and bury your baby.”
The extensive interview takes us through Kaye’s darkest days, goes into mental health, and deep into coping mechanisms.
Kaye says answering the questions was an intense, deepy emotional experience. It wasn’t an easy thing. When she saw the article published and shared it to her socials, she was shocked at the response. She said her phone didn’t stop ringing. She began to understand how important it was to share her story — both for herself and for others. It’s helping her heal, and it’s making her see how sharing her story empowers others who might not be able to find the words to express themselves — and helping others understand their own loved ones in similar circumstances.
It also lets people know that they, too, can get through it.
In the Authority magazine article Kaye says, “It would’ve been very easy to stay in the victim mindset especially when flooded with such intense uncontrolled emotions and circumstances but when you’re able to reset yourself and make small steps even if it’s just taking that first step to get out of bed; that’s a win! Life doesn’t happen to you; it happens for you. I truly feel that overcoming all these obstacles and getting back up again is what makes you stronger and truly unstoppable.|”
Read the entire compelling article here :
Kaye Parker Of Trials & Tribulations: 5 Things You Need To Heal After a Dramatic Loss Or Life Change